Us, Again.

"When you have your parents by your side, it's easier to live a hopeful life."

©springfaraway

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첫사랑은 안 이뤄진단 말은 믿지 않기로 해

Let’s not believe that first love never comes true

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"I don't care. I just wanna move and live somewhere far." Upon the confessions of her first born, the eldest daughter, the mother turtle could only gulp. It was a hard pill to swallow. 

"You wanna live far from your ma?" 

She wanted to hear something else. It was like somewhere between clinginess of a child and dependency she expected.

Though the mother turtle knew that her child is quite stubborn, she has such strong commitment when she had decided, but still.. 

"Yup." 

__________

The eldest turtle glaced over her father who busily drove the car. It was a late night when they came back from grandma. 

"Father, may I ask, will you allow me to go somewhere far to study? Like, far place where we can't meet even once in a month due to the distance?" 

She tried so hard to calm and to be neutral in her tone. She didn't want her feeling to abruptly involved making her father feel uncomfortable with her uneasiness. 

"You wanna know the real truth?" 

Unexpectedly, her father reponded in a welcoming and transparent manner. Way better than she had hoped to hear. 

"Sure!" 

"Deeply in my heart, like there is this small place in my heart, I really hope I always be able to see you everyday. 

So that, ayah can provide you when you are in need, ayah can do something for you when you are sick.

If you are too far away, it's frustrating for ayah for being unable to heal you when you are ill. 

So if there is this place, quite close enough to home where you can achieve your dream, why don't u choose that? What makes it different from the far away place you want to go?"

Of course. She said to herself. And just by that honest, welcoming, transparent late night talk between the night traffic light which can only be heard of the two, she got to understand her parent's heart. 

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There was once a daughter, who kept looking at the shoulder of her parents. 

There was once a daughter, who kept expecting to get compliments and poured down with love of her parents. 

There was once a daughter, learn to live tougher and stronger, because that's just how the environment tell her how to cope up..

One day, this daughter that was once always want to fly away from her parents was crying. Bawling her eyes out.

Feeling frustrated. 

Agitated to herself. 

At the same time so hopeless...

She kept thinking she had to show her parents she didn't need them. She could grow better, in better environment, she learnt to let go her clinginess to her parents. 

But for the mercy of her Lord, Allah ta'ala, she knew such desire was so wrong.. 

Ya Allah, I know I need them. 

Amongst of all mercy you gave me in life to meet you in herrafter, they are the mercy I need to keep close.. 

She wants to love her parents badly. 

So she beg to her Lord in every third quarter of the night. In every longing between adzan and iqamaah. 

Ya Allah, please make my parents love me..

Please soften my parents heart and fondness toward me, so they love me and love me.. 

Please make me the easeness of their eyes..

I need their love ya Allah, I need the support of my parents after You.. 

And please make me love them with the best possible way to love them.

And she knows Allah is the ever-listening, ever-hearing. 

Please win my parents heart for me..

Teach me how to win my parents heart before I win anyone else's heart.

The love of a daughter, she wants to keep her parents forever in the best place Allah has prepared, jannatul firdaws. 

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Just been recently, I realised that ayah dan ibu are my first love. Their bonding is unbreakable. 

And I have dedicated my life and heart, secretly without I know, expecting them to love me back in a certain form I wish to see. 

I thought it was impossible. 

But Allah is the greatest of planner. 

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"Mum, Dad.."

The reason why I am being able to keep going and expecting in life up to now is because I know I have you two."

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رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

Ya Rabb kami, beri ampunlah aku dan kedua ibu bapakku, dan sekalian orang-orang mu’min pada hari terjadinya hisab (hari Kiamat). [Ibrâhîm/14:41].

Referensi : https://almanhaj.or.id/3550-doa-memohon-ampunan-untuk-kedua-orang-tua-dan-kaum-mukminin.html